Jason is wearing a size Large. He is 6' 3" and 210 lbs.
Jason is wearing a size Large. He is 6' 3" and 210 lbs. Click to view our sizing chart

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Comin' Up Milhous

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Why is former President Nixon so happy?

I tell you what, folks. Lookin' down from my big Oval Office in the Sky, things ain't looking so bad for ol' Tricky Dick these days. Sure, I resigned in disgrace, but people have a short memory. And after what a certain successor of mine dragged the country through, a little burglary and wiretapping starts to seem pretty damn quaint.

So I wasn't exactly the world's nicest guy. My private conversations were often just an avalanche of profanity. I didn't like a lot of people. Or any people, really. And there were certain things I was not good at, such as ending the Vietnam War, hiring competent robbers, and not leaving an audio trail of my own criminal behavior.

But I also opened up relations with China, signed one of the first nuclear-arms treaties, and started the Environmental Protection Agency. (Didn't see that one coming, did you?) Plus I liked to bowl, which has since earned me an ironic admiration among hipsters and fans of The Big Lebowski.

You might say everything's comin' up Milhous!

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