I Am Being Kidnapped T-Shirt
OK, I don't want to alarm you, but do you see that guy to my right? He's kidnapping me. No, I'm serious, this isn't a joke. Just look at my t-shirt. See? Yes, that's masking tape. Well...I'm not sure why, it just seemed cool to use masking tape.
No no no, don't call the cops -- no cops. Just remain calm. And don't make eye contact with him. He wants money. But he doesn't want you to pay him directly. You need to give the money to me so it's not as obvious. I think the ransom is $500. But he'd probably settle for, like, $350.
Yeah, it's that guy over there. Yes, the one reading the paper. See that? He's just daring me to try to escape because he knows I can't.
What do you mean I "seem pretty relaxed for someone who's being kidnapped?" Have you ever been kidnapped? Then how do you know what it feels like? Do you think I'm just doing this for attention? What kind of sick bastard would do such a thing?
No no no, don't call the cops -- no cops. Just remain calm. And don't make eye contact with him. He wants money. But he doesn't want you to pay him directly. You need to give the money to me so it's not as obvious. I think the ransom is $500. But he'd probably settle for, like, $350.
Yeah, it's that guy over there. Yes, the one reading the paper. See that? He's just daring me to try to escape because he knows I can't.
What do you mean I "seem pretty relaxed for someone who's being kidnapped?" Have you ever been kidnapped? Then how do you know what it feels like? Do you think I'm just doing this for attention? What kind of sick bastard would do such a thing?
This design is no longer in print, but we liked it enough to keep it in our archives so that future generations can enjoy it. (They just can’t buy it.)
