Tyler is wearing a size Small. He is 5'11" and 155 lbs.
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Never Nude

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Why is David wearing jean cut-offs?

In a bizarre development, Michelangelo's David statue was suddenly observed wearing cutoff jean shorts yesterday.

"I came in to start my shift at 7:00 yesterday morning and -- boom -- there they were," said Giovanni Aloisio, a security guard at the Gallery of the Accademia di Belle Arti in Florence. "Looking like a Calvin Klein ad from the early 90s or something."

Museum officials say there is only one explanation. "David" has contracted a rare syndrome called never nude, which renders him unable of ever being completely nude.

"Call it an affliction, call it just plain embarrassment, but that statue ain't never showin' his family jewels to anyone ever again," said museum administrator Francesco Lo Sapio.

He added, "It may sound strange, but there are dozens of others out there with this same condition. Dozens!"

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