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Comments & General Banter

Optimistic Vampire

Regular Price: $24.00

Special Price: $11.00

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So why the heck did we make this?

What can I say? I'm an optimist. Some people would look at this glass of virgin blood and say it's half empty. But I say it's half full!

It's important to keep a positive attitude. Because, let's face it, things don't always go your way. Sometimes work can get you down. Or you have an argument with a loved one. Or you accidentally expose yourself to sunlight and burst into flames. These things happen.

I say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Then force your victims to drink that lemonade because this purifies their blood for later consumption. In other words, make the best of a bad situation!

Hey, you only go through this crazy merry-go-round once -- you might as well enjoy the ride! Or one day, you'll wake up and wonder where the last 600 years has gone.

About Our Products

  • Exclusive Headline Shirts VintageBlend™ tee designed and hand-sewn for premium quality and fit
  • Made in USA in the great state of California
  • Outrageously soft cotton / poly fabric
  • Eco-friendly manufacturing using eco-friendly inks and compostable packaging
  • In stock and ships in 24 hours