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Lighten up, what could go wrong?
Welcome to Slashing Pines Summer Camp! Now that your parents are gone, let's go over a few ground rules.
1. No talking to Crazy Ralph, the local halfwit who sometimes drops by to tell us we're all doomed. He's clearly crazy and should not be taken seriously.
2. If you sneak away to have sex, please be courteous and find an isolated place in the woods where no one can hear you moaning or screaming.
3. Cellphones don't work here. Our unreliable rotary phone will be our only contact with the outside world. Just saying.
4. If you start to hear noises, like footsteps approaching your tent, or the ghostly whispers of long-ago murdered children, it's probably just the wind.
I'll close by saying let's all have a great summer, be safe, and forget that a boy drowned here 30 years ago today and his body was never found!
1. No talking to Crazy Ralph, the local halfwit who sometimes drops by to tell us we're all doomed. He's clearly crazy and should not be taken seriously.
2. If you sneak away to have sex, please be courteous and find an isolated place in the woods where no one can hear you moaning or screaming.
3. Cellphones don't work here. Our unreliable rotary phone will be our only contact with the outside world. Just saying.
4. If you start to hear noises, like footsteps approaching your tent, or the ghostly whispers of long-ago murdered children, it's probably just the wind.
I'll close by saying let's all have a great summer, be safe, and forget that a boy drowned here 30 years ago today and his body was never found!
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