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That Shit Cray

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What rhymes with fish filet?

Thanks for coming in, Mr. and Mrs. Carter. This "crayon incident" is just the latest in a string of troubling behavior with Shawn. For starters, he's been very aggressive on the basketball court at recess. So aggressive that we're considering a stiff punishment.

Now, I don't want to alarm you, but is there any history of schizophrenia in the family? The other day he said his name was "Michael." When I asked who Michael was, he wouldn't elaborate. Instead, he gave me three options to choose from. Very strange.

And then there's this obsession with Paris. Has he ever been to Paris? He sure seems to think he has.

Look, I'm not saying there aren't bad influences on Shawn. His friend, Kanye, seems to be a trigger. We try not to let them "get in that zone" together, but there's only so much we can do. Right now, they're definitely "in that zone."

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