Undocumented Migrants T-Shirt
Translated from a recently discovered printed artifact from the Wampanoag tribe, who occupied modern day Massachusetts circa 1620...
I don't know about you, but I've had enough of these lazy immigrants turning our country into their own welfare state. Wake up, Red People!
They show up with 90 – sometimes 100 – in a single ship cabin. They make no effort to learn the language. They never bathe. They carry all kinds of diseases. And they rely on honest, bead-and-shell paying Wampanoag to take care of them!
Just the other day I was trading some wampum with one of these shoefoots and he starts talking to me in English. English! I said, "Hey, you coat-wearing freak! Around here we speak Wampanoag. W-A-M-P-A-N-O-A-G!" Of course, he just stares at me like an idiot.
Look, they're not all bad. Some of my good friends are paleface. But we need to think about building a fence. A big ol' mud fence. Otherwise, don't come crying to me when we're all eating with forks and speaking English in 10 years.
I don't know about you, but I've had enough of these lazy immigrants turning our country into their own welfare state. Wake up, Red People!
They show up with 90 – sometimes 100 – in a single ship cabin. They make no effort to learn the language. They never bathe. They carry all kinds of diseases. And they rely on honest, bead-and-shell paying Wampanoag to take care of them!
Just the other day I was trading some wampum with one of these shoefoots and he starts talking to me in English. English! I said, "Hey, you coat-wearing freak! Around here we speak Wampanoag. W-A-M-P-A-N-O-A-G!" Of course, he just stares at me like an idiot.
Look, they're not all bad. Some of my good friends are paleface. But we need to think about building a fence. A big ol' mud fence. Otherwise, don't come crying to me when we're all eating with forks and speaking English in 10 years.
