If You Can Read This You're a Socialist T-Shirt

Healthcare reform, eh? Sounds like socialism to me. Economic stimulus? No thanks, Comrade! Financial regulatory reform? Well, sieg heil to you too, mein Fuhrer! While we're at it, why don't we all bust out the furry hats, get tanked on Stoli vodka, and do a Cossack dance all over George Washington's grave?

Because that's where this is headed, people! Socialism. And while I have only the vaguest sense of what that word means, I know anything that ends in "ism" is bad. I mean, other than capitalism and McCarthyism, name me one "ism" that ended well? Fascism. Racism. Geo Prism. See, you can't!

Granted, I may not be an "expert" on this topic -- or even "slightly informed" on it. But that's because reading is just another tool of the state to indoctrinate us with -- you guessed it -- socialism! In fact, if you can read this, you're probably a socialist! You just make sure to keep your grubby hands off my Medicare and Social Security, pinko!