Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms
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Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms


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Which government agency is the most badass?

As part of an effort to lure more people into public-sector work, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms today announced a full rebranding.

"'Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms' isn't just a name -- it's a lifestyle," said ATF Director Roger Smythe. "If you enjoy these three things -- either individually or, if you're like me, all at once -- then this is the government agency for you."

Smythe added, "Oh, and explosives! Did I mention explosives? Because we get to handle a lot of those, too."

The ATF has redesigned its insignia to reflect its new attitude. The new seal shows a badass Lady Justice smoking a cigarette while simultaneously holding a shotgun in one hand and a beer bottle in the other.

"No more faceless government bureaucracy," said Smythe. It's go time!"

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