Cold War Vet

The Department of Veterans Affairs announced today plans for a "long overdue" memorial to veterans of the Cold War.

"Sure, we have memorials to the Vietnam War and the Korean War – which were tangentially related to the Cold War – but what about the brave Americans -- and monkeys -- who battled actual Russians?" said Adm. Mark Watson, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "It's time these courageous patriots got their day in the sun."

Of course, since the Cold War was more a war of ideologies than an actual conflict, the NVA is having to get a little creative. Among the "warriors" who will be honored are space ape Ham the Astrochimp, the 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team, Rocky & Bullwinkle, and the late "Master of Disaster" Apollo Creed.

Watson unveiled a sketch of the monument, which features an monkey astronaut smoking a cigarette. "The truth is, all those space monkeys smoked, and we wanted to honor them with a realistic portrayal," he said.