Goose Ness Monster

USD $28.00
Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt
USD $28.00

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USD $28.00
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About this product

Never heard of the Goose Ness Monster? Over the years, myriad theories have been put forth to explain the Loch Ness Monster. Some say Nessie is an ancient plesiosaur that survived extinction. Others say she's simply an overgrown eel. And still others contend that she is Tupac's killer. (That last one's kind of a fringe theory.)

But we think we may have solved the mystery of Nessie once and for all. Using advanced photo-enhancement technology, we have determined that the Loch Ness Monster is, in fact, a goose. And not just any goose. A goose that is estimated to be up to 23 feet long, with webbed feet the size of bicycle tires and a wingspan longer that a Boeing 747.

So why has no one seen this massive "Goose Ness Monster" flying or swimming? Our best guess is that it is a special "submarine" goose that lives under water most of the time and only peaks up occasionally to feed. Scientists believe its diet consists of aquatic vegetation, as well as incredibly large pieces of white bread tossed in the Loch by old ladies.

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The Details

Product Type Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt

Neckline Crew Neck

Fit Fitted: Not Too Baggy, Not Too Tight. For a baggy fit, order a size up.

Fabric Content 100% Cotton, Sewn in Honduras, Digitally printed in USA



*Length measured from garment when it is laid flat

Designed by Us, From Scratch

Digitally Printed with State-of-the Art Technology

Made From the Softest 100% Cotton Fabric

Finished With an Interior Neck Print Instead of a Tag


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Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt

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HEADLINE has been making intelligently funny tees and apparel from San Francisco since 2004. Back then, George W. Bush was president, gas cost $2, and t-shirts were called “torso shorts.” (Citation needed.) Over 10 years and millions of t-shirts later, we still have the same mission: to create fun, premium apparel that leaves an impression.