Hamster Head Scan

USD $24.00
Men's Cotton/Poly T-Shirt
USD $24.00

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USD $24.00
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Is rat food covered by your insurance? OK, Mr. Simms, we have your X-rays back from the lab and I'm pleased to say I have good news. The accident you suffered while juggling on your unicycle drunk, while incredibly stupid, did no severe damage to your brain. You did suffer a grade-one concussion -- which is probably nothing new for you -- but I see no sign of lesions or traumatic brain injury. And most importantly, your cranial hamster was unhurt.

See, there he is, still chugging away on his hamster wheel. Had he been injured, or even dazed, we might have had to perform an emergency rodentdectomy. That's a very high-risk procedure and requires a trip to Petco, which isn't covered by your insurance.

I just hope you appreciate the seriousness of what could have happened. You're only as good as your hamster, Mr. Simms. You're a very lucky man. A very stupid, lucky man.

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Hamster Head Scan

Men's Cotton/Poly T-Shirt

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Headline has been making intelligently funny tees and apparel from San Francisco since 2004. Back then, George W. Bush was president, gas cost $2, and t-shirts were called “torso shorts.” (Citation needed.) Over 10 years and millions of t-shirts later, we still have the same mission: to create fun, premium apparel that leaves an impression.