I Went to A Dinosaur Theme Park

USD $28.00
Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt
USD $28.00

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PLEASE NOTE: This special-order item is NOT guaranteed to arrive by Dec. 25, and cannot be expedited. May ship separately from other items.
USD $28.00
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About this product

Life Finds A Way TO RUIN MY WEEKEND!


I had a pretty weird weekend. I was invited by this old guy to tour his new theme park. Sounds OK (if a bit creepy) so far. Just wait cuz here's the kicker: They had real dinosaurs at this park. I'm not talking about some low-rent natural-history-museum diarama of dinosaurs. Nope. Like, actual, living dinosaurs. T-Rexes, brontosauruses — you name it. No idea how they pulled this off. (Some s--t about DNA from ancient mosquitoes trapped in tree sap. I kind of dozed off during the explanation tbh.)

Anyways, sounds great, right? Yeah — for like the first hour. Then the power went out, and s--t started going hella sideways. Pretty much all dinosaurs got loose and started hunting us. (In case you ever wondered if dinosaurs would eat people, they do.) By my count, at least five people died. (Though unfortunately neither of the annoying kids who were there with me.) And, oh by the way, it was pouring rain at this point.

Long story, I made it out alive. But by the time it was all said and done, even the owner of the park was like "yeah this was a dumb idea." So I probably won't be going back, unless there's like a really good Groupon or something.

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The Details

Product Type Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt

Neckline Crew Neck

Fit Fitted: Not Too Baggy, Not Too Tight. For a baggy fit, order a size up.

Fabric Content 100% Cotton, Sewn in Honduras, Digitally printed in USA

Sizing

 SMLXL2X3X
Chest34-36"37-41"42-44"45-47"48-51"53-56"
Length28.5"29.5"30.5"31.5"32.5"33.5"

*Length measured from garment when it is laid flat

Designed by Us, From Scratch

Digitally Printed with State-of-the Art Technology

Made From the Softest 100% Cotton Fabric

Finished With an Interior Neck Print Instead of a Tag

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I Went to A Dinosaur Theme Park

Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt

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ABOUT HEADLINE

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

HEADLINE has been making intelligently funny tees and apparel from San Francisco since 2004. Back then, George W. Bush was president, gas cost $2, and t-shirts were called “torso shorts.” (Citation needed.) Over 10 years and millions of t-shirts later, we still have the same mission: to create fun, premium apparel that leaves an impression.

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