Never Nude

USD $28.00
Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt
USD $28.00

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USD $28.00
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About this product

Why is David wearing jean cut-offs? In a bizarre development, Michelangelo's David statue was suddenly observed wearing cutoff jean shorts yesterday.

"I came in to start my shift at 7:00 yesterday morning and -- boom -- there they were," said Giovanni Aloisio, a security guard at the Gallery of the Accademia di Belle Arti in Florence. "Looking like a Calvin Klein ad from the early 90s or something."

Museum officials say there is only one explanation. "David" has contracted a rare syndrome called never nude, which renders him unable of ever being completely nude.

"Call it an affliction, call it just plain embarrassment, but that statue ain't never showin' his family jewels to anyone ever again," said museum administrator Francesco Lo Sapio.

He added, "It may sound strange, but there are dozens of others out there with this same condition. Dozens!"

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The Details

Product Type Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt

Neckline Crew Neck

Fit Fitted: Not Too Baggy, Not Too Tight. For a baggy fit, order a size up.

Fabric Content 100% Cotton, Sewn in Honduras, Digitally printed in USA



*Length measured from garment when it is laid flat

Designed by Us, From Scratch

Digitally Printed with State-of-the Art Technology

Made From the Softest 100% Cotton Fabric

Finished With an Interior Neck Print Instead of a Tag


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Never Nude

Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt

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HEADLINE has been making intelligently funny tees and apparel from San Francisco since 2004. Back then, George W. Bush was president, gas cost $2, and t-shirts were called “torso shorts.” (Citation needed.) Over 10 years and millions of t-shirts later, we still have the same mission: to create fun, premium apparel that leaves an impression.