Not This 2020
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About this product
I, "Not This," do hereby pledge:
1. To not be this current thing.
2. To say at least four sentences a day that are not demonstrable lies.
3. To read and write at a 3rd-grade level or higher.
4. To not tweet from the toilet, no matter how upset I am.
5. To not kiss up to murderous autocrats like a lovestruck preteen.
6. To not take sides with nazis or credibly accused pedophiles.
7. To get my intelligence briefings from my staff, not morning cable news shows.
8. To keep my scandals limited to a number that the human brain is capable of processing.
9. To have the slightest idea of how american government functions.
10. To not be so disgusting that you assume an alleged video of me and two hookers peeing on each other can only be real.
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