Santa Sloth

USD $28.00
Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt
USD $28.00

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USD $28.00
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About this product

Slowest Santa Ever Every Christmas Eve, Santa Sloth brings gifts to good children all over the world! Or... He tries to anyway. Truth be told, he doesn't usually get very far.

I mean, just think of the math. Let's say there are 2 billion kids in the world (ballpark). That's 2 billion homes he has to cover in the span of 24 hours. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. That leaves him with .0000432 seconds per child. This is a creature with a top speed of 0.07 miles per hour. Just saying, that's a tall order. We'd be impressed if he made it through one house before sunrise.

How did this legend get started anyway?

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The Details

Product Type Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt

Neckline Crew Neck

Fit Fitted: Not Too Baggy, Not Too Tight. For a baggy fit, order a size up.

Fabric Content 100% Cotton, Sewn in Honduras, Digitally printed in USA



*Length measured from garment when it is laid flat

Designed by Us, From Scratch

Digitally Printed with State-of-the Art Technology

Made From the Softest 100% Cotton Fabric

Finished With an Interior Neck Print Instead of a Tag


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Santa Sloth

Unisex 100% Cotton T-Shirt

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this was a gift. She liked it.

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HEADLINE has been making intelligently funny tees and apparel from San Francisco since 2004. Back then, George W. Bush was president, gas cost $2, and t-shirts were called “torso shorts.” (Citation needed.) Over 10 years and millions of t-shirts later, we still have the same mission: to create fun, premium apparel that leaves an impression.