Sunday Is God's Day

Why do you think football is played on Sunday? Need I remind all you blasphemers that Sunday is God's day? And luckily, God is a huge football fan.

Yes, my fellow believers, it is true! For if He were not a football fan, wouldst He have scheduled a full slate of contests every Sunday? Wouldst He have ordained the Super Bowl to be on Sunday?

And wouldst He have allowed Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco to complete that seven-yard fade route on fourth and goal last Sunday, thus allowing this humble servant of His to win his pick-em pool for the second straight week? Nay!

Sometimes the Almighty tests our faith. Like when he decided that Carolina placekicker John Kasay should miss that chipshot field goal, thus giveth-ing this humble servant a one-point loss in his fantasy league. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Mysterious, indeed. I mean, why He would care about a midseason Panthers-Browns game with no playoff implications is certainly a frickin' mystery.

But let us not try to understand His plan. Let us just rejoice and be ready! Ready for some football!