The Universe Isn't Trying To Tell You Anything

USD $28.00
On-Demand Unisex Tee
USD $28.00

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NOTE: This product is made to order and cannot be returned or exchanged. Allow 2-7 business days for production. Certain discounts and offers cannot be applied. Expedited shipping unavailable.
USD $28.00
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About this product

A Message from The Universe


As the totality of objects and phenomena throughout space, both observed or postulated, I have a pretty full schedule. I'm about 91 billion light years across. I'm home to about three sextillion stars. To put that number in perspective, it's more than all the grains of sand combined on that little spec of cosmic dust you call Earth.

And yet, many of you seem to think I care what happens in your day-to-day lives. Just the other day I overheard this woman talking to her friend. She was trying to text this guy she's been dating off and on, but her texts weren't going through. So her friend says, "Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something." Not jokingly. She said that. I almost did a spit take with my coffee. (Which would have wiped out the Andromeda Galaxy, so luckily I held it together.) Like, yeah totally, I'm the one who stopped that text from going through. It's definitely not the fact that you just had shitty cellphone coverage. Give me a break!

And granted, the guy she's talking about is this dude Jeremy and he's a douchebag who's totally not right for her, but still!

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The Details

Product Type On Demand Unisex T-Shirt *NOTE: On Demand products are made to order and cannot be returned or exchanged.

Neckline Crew Neck

Fit Fitted: Not Too Baggy, Not Too Tight. For a baggy fit, order a size up.

Fabric Content 100% Cotton, Sewn in Honduras, Digitally printed in USA

Sizing

 SMLXL2X3X
Chest34-36"37-41"42-44"45-47"48-51"53-56"
Length28.5"29.5"30.5"31.5"32.5"33.5"

*Length measured from garment when it is laid flat

Designed by Us, From Scratch

Digitally Printed with State-of-the Art Technology

Made From the Softest 100% Cotton Fabric

Finished With an Interior Neck Print Instead of a Tag

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The Universe Isn't Trying To Tell You Anything

On-Demand Unisex Tee

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ABOUT HEADLINE

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

HEADLINE has been making intelligently funny tees and apparel from San Francisco since 2004. Back then, George W. Bush was president, gas cost $2, and t-shirts were called “torso shorts.” (Citation needed.) Over 10 years and millions of t-shirts later, we still have the same mission: to create fun, premium apparel that leaves an impression.

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