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Left or right? Limited-time bonus! Get our "Donald J. Turd" sticker FREE with purchase of this tee.

Not saying that choosing a president is the same as online dating, but if this guy came up on Tinder, it would take about a nano second for us to know which way we would swipe.

Not sure if it's the jowls, the jingoism or the -- what's the word? -- absolute fucking horribleness. But whatever it is, we just can't left-swipe fast enough.

I mean, we'd have to be beyond hammered to right-swipe this guy. We're talking liver-failure-level intoxication. Waaaay more wasted than that time we drank that entire bottle of Bacardi Razz and voted for Pat Buchanan.

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ABOUT HEADLINE

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

HEADLINE has been making intelligently funny tees and apparel from San Francisco since 2004. Back then, George W. Bush was president, gas cost $2, and t-shirts were called “torso shorts.” (Citation needed.) Over 10 years and millions of t-shirts later, we still have the same mission: to create fun, premium apparel that leaves an impression.

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