United Condiments


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USD $28.00

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What's the first step to world peace?

Want to start an argument? I mean like a knock-down, drag-out, "get off my property" argument? Start a discussion about condiments. Seriously. People may not have an opinion about politics, or race relations in the 21st Century, but they damn sure know the correct thing to put on a hot dog.

With tensions boiling over, we decided it was time to start an allied governing body. A "United Condiments," if you will. French mustard standing alongside Italian olive oil. Soy sauce and hotsauce, walking hand in hand. And then there's American ketchup, providing muscle and legitimacy to the whole thing.

We're not saying it will totally put an end to conflict. But it might just help us learn to get along.

About Our Products

  • Eco-friendly manufacturing using eco-friendly inks and compostable packaging
  • Made in USA in the great state of California
  • Exclusive Headline Shirts VintageBlend™ tee
  • Designed and hand-sewn for premium quality and fit
  • Outrageously soft cotton / poly fabric

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United Condiments


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Headline has been making intelligently funny tees and apparel from San Francisco since 2004. Back then, George W. Bush was president, gas cost $2, and t-shirts were called “torso shorts.” (Citation needed.) Over 10 years and millions of t-shirts later, we still have the same mission: to create fun, premium apparel that leaves an impression.